1. I am emotional (but that's a given, right?). One minute I'll be laughing at a reality TV show and the next I'll be sobbing. It's strange how the littlest things can make me tear up - looking at a man's shoe or thinking about a beer brewing book. Honestly, if you show or tell me something and give me a few moments I guarantee I can turn it into something depressing that causes me to cry. The top things that make me cry or want to cry:
- Looking at my friend's pregnant belly. She was 10 weeks ahead of me and we were super excited to be pregnant together and raise our kids together.
- Watching anything even remotely emotional on tv: psychics giving readings, House, Teen Mom 2 (no, I don't purposefully watch this show, but it was on and got slightly interesting and then very sad)
- "So Far Away" by Staind
- Reading all of the lovely cards and looking at the flowers/plants we've received
- Not having anyone to sing to
- Not feeling his soft kicks
Alright. Cue the tears.
3. My breasts became engorged. Ouch. Can you say rock hard and painful? Never have they felt so uncomfortable - not even while I was pregnant when they supposedly get tender. They have since gone down (thank you!) but I have to say that was one of the strangest things I have ever experienced.
4. Keith and I went to Frankenmuth. Keith had signed up a while ago to judge beers for the World Expo of Beer, so we decided to make a little weekend out of it. I was feeling good enough to go, so we went this past weekend. The trip was good and bad. Good because we got to play putt-putt, make pretzels, eat a good chicken dinner, get a mani/pedi (that was all me), and enjoy some beer. Bad because everywhere we went we saw families and children and infants. Especially at our hotel, the Bavarian Inn, which is family oriented. It was basically a constant reminder of what we lost. I did make my way to Bronners, the largest Christmas store in the world, and bought a few ornaments. I really wanted to get one for Aidan, so he could celebrate with us, and after wandering through the store for an hour I finally found the perfect ornament: a hand-blown glass bulb, made in the USA with ashes from Mount St. Helens, colored in these amazing red-orange hues that remind me of our little fire, which I then had personalized in silver with his name. I think I'll buy an ornament stand just so it can be on display year-round. I was totally crying the entire time I was in the store.
5. I saw some friends. Visiting with my friends has definitely helped me, at least while I am around them. I got to see Jenn, Lauren and Liz so far, and this weekend I will see a few more of my high school friends. I haven't cried around them yet, but that doesn't mean it won't happen.
6. Bleeding has stopped. I'm pretty sure all of the after-pregnancy bleeding has stopped, which means I should be on my way to starting a new cycle. If you read my '72 Hours' post, you might have noticed that I have access to 8 different doctors/OBGYNs. Overkill? Probably, but quite useful as well. Dr. Moses told us to wait 6 months before trying to conceive again. Six months!!?? Dr. Klutke, my retired OBGYN friend, said waiting 4 months would be ok. That's more reasonable... The wonderful world wide web says to wait at least one cycle. Yikes. Dr. Klutke said that it would actually be good for me if I could get pregnant sooner - it would help me heal emotionally - but after reading some things online I realize that it's better to wait to allow my body to heal physically and to let me get more emotionally prepared for another child.
7. I have a cold. Great. My body seems to have finished with the pregnancy and now I have to get sick. Hello orange juice and Nyquil.
Of course more things have happened, such as completing a scrapbook and watching endless hours of mind-numbing tv while lying in my pjs on the couch (I wonder what the mail lady thinks), but odd numbers are the best and 7 is supposedly lucky, so I'm stopping here.
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