almost there

I am 33 weeks along now; just 7 more till her due date and just one more till our goal gestational date.  It's amazing to think I've lasted almost 9 weeks with a funneling, 1.5 cm long cervix.

I've done extremely well with the modified bed rest. My doctors said it was ok to use stairs every now and then, which has given me a little more freedom, so I've been able to check up on our basement bathroom remodel. We went through Home Depot (24 month financing!) because it required a lot of underground plumbing work and it has taken much longer than expected, but it's a blessing in disguise as I've been able to work from home while the workers are here, allowing me to rest more and not have to rush in the morning to get ready for work.

I've done some shopping too, both on my own and with Keith or a friend. I allow myself to go into the smaller stores, like CVS, to pick up a prescription or something quick without using a wheelchair or scooter, but at bigger stores like Target and JoAnn's I definitely use one. I kind of feel like a dork (or some other appropriate term) when I am riding around a store by myself. I am extremely self-conscious and can only imagine the thoughts running through peoples' heads as they see the lazy pregnant lady scooting around the store, bumping into things (still getting a hang of maneuvering!), yet can get up and walk out to her car no problem. Yes, it is stupid to think these things but we all know it's not easy to turn off our minds. I just keep reminding myself that it's for baby girl (whom is currently hiccuping) and you have a perfectly valid reason to be riding around in a scooter!  I also feel awkward being pushed around in a wheelchair, mainly because I'm inconveniencing the person who's pushing, but at least I have some company. Many many thanks to Jenn and Keith for pushing me around JoAnn's and Buy Buy Baby and to Liz for taking me to an art fair and pushing me around in 90 degree weather. That is friendship!

Health-wise I am doing pretty well. My cervix has not changed length nor has it funneled any more. What's interesting is you can actually watch my cervix fill with fluid during a transvaginal ultrasound - the u/s tech will have me bear down, which I assume pushes all the fluid out, then a minute or two later it fills back up again. She says it's not amniotic fluid, but just regular, whatever's-up-in-there fluid. Not her words. Around 28 weeks I had my glucose test and happily found out that I do not have gestational diabetes (my level was 86, whatever that means). After the test I had some bloodwork done and the results said I had a slightly high white cell count. My doctor was going to brush that off at first, as it's normal for pregnant women to have a higher white cell count than non-pregnant women, but when I reminded her that I had a really high white count with Aidan and no signs of the BV that was ravaging my uterus, she decided to put me on a week's worth of antibiotics. Good thing, because just a few days later we found out I had a UTI! I had never had one before, and after reading about the symptoms I suppose I had some of them (very minor, though) but I attributed everything to the many side effects of pregnancy. The UTI is all cleared up now, and I'm doing my best to be more aware of my body.

Because my cervix hasn't changed, my doctors moved me back to bi-weekly appointments instead of weekly, and we stopped doing the cervical ultrasounds (although I did have a measurement u/s and got some cute 3D pictures out of it). So now we are really just in a waiting game. My dad, who knows things, keeps saying she will be born in October, so I am keeping hope that my little pumpkin baby will hold out until then. With everything that's been going on, she'll probably stay in past her due date and I'll need to be induced!

There are a few more things I could write about but this post is long enough. I will try to update more often, but I've been pretty decent at doing minor updates at An Caisteal, so feel free to check that out if you don't mind reading about the happier side of things.

my grampie

I had started writing up a post for you all last week, just a little update on the fact that not much has changed since my last post. Then I found out on Tuesday that my grandfather died.

He was 85 years old, not in the best health but I certainly did not think he was going to pass so soon. I had just seen him on Friday when we went out to dinner with him and some of my family. That was the first time I had seen him this pregnancy.  No, he didn't live far from me at all. I'm just a terrible granddaughter that never visited.   He was happy to see me and Keith, though, along with the rest of the family - some who were in town visiting that weekend.

I'm not going to write a ton about him here, at least not now. There's a lot I could say, both good and bad, but I'll leave it at I think he was overall a good man, and although he seemed to treat his children and grandchildren unfairly, perhaps he treated them in the way they needed to be treated, and helped them in the way they needed to be helped.

My grandpa had 6 kids (he and my grandma divorced many years ago; she died in '91), 12 grandchildren, and depending on how you look at it, between 3 and 7 great-grandchildren. Three great-grandchildren are definitely accounted for and living, a 4th might exist (not sure if a cousin has two kids or just one), Aidan died, the 6th is growing in my womb, and the 7th is growing in another cousin's womb.  On his obituary only 4 great-grandchildren were noted, the 4th being the one that might exist.  I was there when they were writing out the obituary. I could have spoken up and said well what about Aidan, but I didn't.  I could have spoken up and said well what about the ones that are growing, but I didn't. What is protocol for this?   My uncle, who passed in '03, was listed as "the late" son.  I guess it's not a big deal. If the 4th one doesn't exist then we can pretend that was for Aidan. Or this one. Or the other one.

I was a bit of a mess last week after finding out about his death. I cried a lot, and luckily I've been working from home so I didn't have to put on a show in front of my coworkers. The thought I kept returning to was how much I wanted him to meet his future great-granddaughter, and he won't get to. I only have one grandparent left now, and none on Keith's side. Please please please let my grandma stay alive until she's born. Please let her meet my child. I guess my grandpa does get to meet one of them. He finally got to meet Aidan.