It's been a full two weeks since Aidan's birth-/death-day. What do you even call that day? He came into the world that day, but died before he was born.
Thursday would have marked my 19th week of pregnancy. Friday would have been the day we found out our child's gender. But Saturday marks his 2nd week of being gone.
I've been very emotional since my last post. It seems if I have a good/happy moment with friends or family, then undoubtedly I will have an equally opposite bad/sad moment, kind of like Newton's 3rd law of motion. For instance, yesterday I spent all day with friends, having a good time. Then I get home and cry until 3am.
One thing that's been on my mind is all of the women I know who are pregnant right now and not having any complications (that I know of, at least). Then I think about all of the women who have already had children with no problems. I know this is our first one, and that we're young and can still try again, but it honestly sucks. Life sucks. No, life isn't fair, but I can still complain about how much it sucks. Why us?
On Monday I'm going back to work. I'm nervous, because we are a small company and everyone there knows about what happened. Are they going to say anything to me? Are they going to be weird about it? I'm sure they're going to look at me and feel sorry. I wish I could just sneak in without anyone noticing and hide in my office but that's not entirely possible. Getting back into a work routine should be good for me, right?
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