semi truck

Before I got pregnant with Aidan, I played coed indoor soccer with a nice group of people. I had been playing soccer for years - since 4th grade actually - but I stopped playing my senior year of high school (due to some stupid coach politics). I picked it up again in college when a friend needed another girl on his indoor team, and I played with that group for years. Team members came and went and we didn't always have a great season, but for the most part we had a great time.

One of my teammates, A, was a fantastic soccer player. He was so fast and had great ball handling skills (that's not meant to be perverted!) and was just a nice guy in general. Sometimes his girlfriend, K, would come to watch the games. She never played, but every now and then she would bring their dog (a pit bull?) to the game too. I didn't know them very well, but I never really tried to get to know them. Anyway, I did know that A worked for a courier company called Reliable something. I think they're based out of Ohio, where A lives, and I was always impressed that he drove all the way up here just for a soccer game.

A few seasons ago our team kind of disbanded. People were doing other things in their lives which just weren't compatible with playing on our team (several of them played on more than one team). Also, after someone stepped down from being the team manager, no one else wanted to step up, including me. I was a little sad that our team broke up, but it also meant I had more free time and didn't have to play any more 11pm games. We were also going to start trying for a baby soon so I figured the timing had just worked out well.

Time passed. A and his girlfriend K got engaged and soon married. I got pregnant with Aidan, and shortly thereafter K got pregnant too. (I only know this from word of mouth/slight facebook stalking - I'm friends with A but not K on fb (er.. should I say was, since I canceled my account?))

Then my body decided it hated me, got an infection, made my waters break too early, and Aidan died as a result. This blog got started, and everything else that's happened since that day is now up here.

Except for this morning.

This morning, while driving to work, I passed by a big semi truck with the words "Reliable Courier & Delivery" written on the side. I'm not sure if this is the company A worked for, but how many other "Reliable" delivery companies do you know of? My train of thought went kind of like this..

::acknowledge the word Reliable on truck::
::i know someone who works for a company with that name::
::A::
::A is married to K::
::K is pregnant::
::K got pregnant after i got pregnant::
::as far as i know, K is still pregnant::
::i am not still pregnant::
::i had my son, way too early, and he died::
::Aidan::
::insert hundreds of thoughts similar to the ones you've read on this blog::
::sadness::
::::
::hours later, posts like the previous one will emerge::
::more sadness::
::::

And that's how a semi truck can make me cry.