EOB

Today's shout out goes to my insurance company for making me cry for about an hour straight.

I received my explanation of benefits letter in the mail the other day. I am not 100% sure as to how much it cost for my "procedure" at the hospital, but I know that $619 of that was left over, and, as I now know, my insurance is covering all of that. I guess we're getting out of this whole thing for free. Woo?

Now, that's definitely not something that would make me cry for an hour, no. You see, on the EOB it states a bunch of things, like insurance information and when I was at the hospital and what "procedure" I had at the hospital. The EOB looked ok for the most part, except for this one section. In giant, black, bold letters next to the word "Procedure," it said "ABORTION."

Well that's exactly what I wanted to see on a Thursday morning, right before work.

WTF!?

"MY SON DIED!" I cried to myself. "I did not have an abortion! He was alive! And then he died! And then I delivered him!"

How could they say that I had an abortion? I mean, yes, they shoved some pills up my hoo-ha to make the contractions occur more frequently, but Aidan was already dead! He died naturally!

I was already late for work, but I knew I could not get through the day without some answers. So logically, while uncontrollably sobbing, I called up my insurance company and asked them wtf.

The girl who answered was nice. I explained to her that I had had a miscarriage in February and the EOB claims I had an abortion. "Oh," she replied, "I'm so sorry. A friend of mine had a couple miscarriages so I know how you feel."

Um, no you don't, bitch.

I didn't actually say that to her, but it went through my mind.

She eventually explained that I had a "spontaneous abortion," which is just another term for miscarriage, and that's just what they write on the EOB. It's not meant to say that I had an abortion procedure, but that I suffered a spontaneous abortion.

Well that's great to know. I'm super glad they word it that way on the insurance forms so women around the US can get all worked up just like I did. At least the girl on the phone was somewhat compassionate, more so than Dr. Moses, at least.

I think I said thank you to her, although it was hard for me to speak because I was sobbing so much. I hung up, and eventually made it into work.

I had to lock myself away from my coworkers for a few hours, so I hid in my office with the door shut while I continued to cry. Eventually I got over it and was even able to talk with some people later in the day. Wow. That says a lot.. doesn't it? The fact that I got up enough courage to talk to someone I know face-to-face. Oh boy... Am I in for it tomorrow or what? More on that later...