thanks

One year ago today we found out I was pregnant with Aidan. We didn't tell family members or friends right away, which was pretty amazing since Thanksgiving was the next day followed by an annual get-together of my high school friends. Somehow we kept that secret to ourselves for a few more weeks.

I wish I had a secret to spill today.

Instead I am trying to be thankful, as we all should on this day, for everything I still have. My house, my health, my job, my husband, my friends and family who are still here and relatively healthy.

It's just hard to be thankful when something so precious has been taken from you. His absence does make me more thankful for the things I have, when I realize how much I do have. But.. I'd give up my job if I could have my son back.  I'd be homeless in another country far away from my friends and family if it meant I could have my son back. My husband, well he's the one thing I need with me. I can't give him up. And, I suppose, my health.

Anyway, I am not bargaining here. I am just having a discussion. With myself. Look at what you have, self. Be appreciative of all the things that are good. Your freedom in this country, the yarn you will buy tonight, your amazing husband who's cleaning the yard, the chance to beta test the new Star Wars game on Saturday (and stop being bitter that everyone else gets to test it before you!). Be thankful.  Say thank you. Recognize those around you who have done amazing things for you.

How many times must I say this before it sinks in?


Enjoy your thanksgiving, everyone. Try not to eat too much.