It's been nine months since you left us, baby boy. We've missed you every minute of every day. I can't stop myself from imagining life with you alive. Oh, how wonderful thanksgiving would he have been with you here. You'd get passed around from family member to family member, each one wanting to hold you forever and gaze at your beautiful face. Christmas will be hard.
Yesterday we went out to dinner to celebrate your uncle's birthday. Nonna came too. It was really hard to watch her chase after a stranger's children, trying to talk to them and entertain them. I felt terrible that I couldn't provide a little bundle of joy for her to play with, not even something to look forward to.
Perhaps next year we'll have a brother or sister for you. They will never replace you. Nothing will. It would be nice to have something to fill this void in my life, though. Hope, love, happiness. I try. I am trying to be better and get through life without you. It's just so hard.
But who said it would be easy?
Love you always.
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