Mother's day this year was very different than the past few years.
Two years ago I was newly babylost; my grief for Aidan was so raw and painful. My cousin was the first to wish me a happy mother's day that year. I said thank you, but never expressed how truly thankful I was that she recognized me as a mother (THANK YOU). This year was my first "official" mother's day according to some (yes, this was said to me). I suppose that could be true...Enora is not in my womb as she was last year - she is out, alive, breathing, and considered a human this year. She is my child and I take care of her. I am her mother.
But...Last year was I not her mother? Did I not take care of her while she was in the womb? I took prenatals and watched what I ate. I was on modified bed rest for 8 weeks. I didn't go skydiving or rock climbing. I took care of her. I was her mother.
And what of Aidan? He only lived in my womb. He never breathed air. He never got to see my face. But just like Enora, I took prenatals. I watched what I ate. I took care of him for those short 17 weeks. I was his mother.
Aidan lives in our house. His ashes are in our living room. I dust his box and say goodnight to him. I still take care of him, even though he is no longer living on this earth.
I am his mother.
I am not mad or upset at the person who said that to me. I understand that *they* don't understand. It has taken a long time to accept that and understand that myself. I guess my point is that the babylost are mothers and fathers too. We all grieve differently, and no matter what you say you will probably hurt us! But I think I can generally say that we all appreciate our children being acknowledged, no matter how short their lives were.
This was my third mother's day, and I am very, very happy to have been able to share it with my beautiful daughter on earth and my handsome son in the sky.
...and my loving husband and family, of course. Thank you for the gardening tools, Enora :)
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