Today is Jenn's baby shower. B.S. day, as I've been calling it. I know that two pregnant ladies and one new mom and her son will be there, but there could be more. I am scared, anxious, nervous, but also a little excited. I want to give Jenn her gift and I want her to like it and smile (you better like it!). I really hope I don't cry. Maybe I am getting too worked up about it. Maybe everything will be fine. Maybe I will freak out and won't get the courage to go. I was supposed to be pregnant too, you know. We were going to take cute bump pictures together.
Today is also International Babylost Mother's Day. What's that, you ask? Someone who is babylost is a person who has lost a child, whether it be from miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, you name it. They are babylost. I am babylost. And now we have our own day. I am not quite sure why us babylost moms have our own day - we ARE moms, even though our child is dead, so are we not allowed to celebrate regular mother's day? - but I will take it. So, to all of the babylost moms out there:
Today I will be sad. Today I will do my best not to cry. Today I will try to be happy. Today I will smile, genuinely or not. Today I will remember. Just like every other day.
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