fluid

I have a feeling we're not gonna make it to October.

I had my bi-weekly (fortnightly?) appointment today and was given some more bad news. Last time, although short and soft-ish, my cervix was nice and closed inside and out.  Today we discovered a pocket of fluid in my cervix, which means my cervix is dilating from the inside, or funneling. Fantastic.

The length was the same (hooray!) and the outside is still closed (double hooray!) but it means I'm at an even higher risk for pre-term labor now.  They did another fFN test and another BV test (apparently my vajay looked red and irritated.. funny, it's not bothering me) so I'll get the results of those soon - the fFN might even come back today. I'm also going to start going in weekly so they can monitor my cervix. If it stays this way without change for a while then maybe we'll go back down to fortnightly (apparently I like this word) but we want to be on the safe side. My "couch potato" bed rest rules have not changed, so I can still go to work, but I'm going to take it much easier than I have been.. maybe ask Keith to get me water instead of getting up for it myself, etc. 

I didn't freak out as much today as I did last time, but I am still really worried. I know that each day she says inside my womb means a higher chance of survival, but there could always be complications. She could have a brain bleed or her lungs might not have matured enough even with the steroids. I'm still looking at 34 weeks for our goal, but the doc today mentioned even 30/32 weeks would be great.   If things get worse down there they might put me on hospital bed rest.  Sigh.  Please think good things for us.